aftermath of current events

•August 11, 2017 • Leave a Comment

not too pleased with my human peers at this grave given moment. i hope to forgive all else as well as myselves in days to come. i understand completely that no one is molded to perfection from the start. its a bit of disgust to imagine the incompatibility of some of it all. what a wretched feeling it is to me to even somewhat possibly resemble the like. all i can do now is not brood on this specific negativity and continue to pursue higher vibrations.

the fruit moon wanez

•August 9, 2017 • Leave a Comment

been having a hard time lately. a couple of days ago i got off work early and decided to pick up my girls. turned out my car lost its brakes on the way and i was just along for the ride. rear-ended this red ford truck and knocked its plastic bumper right off. second time this has happened in my classic. at least now i see that it was the drums partially but more so the master cylinder. its completely out. nearly could have died or killed someone else. decided to go ahead and retire the classic and sell it to my aspiring younger brother. he feels he can salvage it so best of luck to him.

needless to say with my transportation out of service i no longer had a way to work. ended up throwing the keys thus dropping the ball. i wonder why my luck is so strange sometimes. especially during full moons. things seem to get a bit more peculiar.

no worries however. this recent job was just a means to pass the time until my next. my aptitude test is next month. i have no worry in the matter. they even gave me a study packet. how quaint.

the reason for the melancholic song is that my anti-queen had yet again turned on me due to my misfortune. i really don’t understand why the first thing she does when i’m down is puncture stabs into my side. maybe i deserve it at this point. we’ll see.

the reign of the moon cycle of julius coming to an end

•July 27, 2017 • Leave a Comment

according to the draw of the day things are to be looking up. figured i’d semi-celebrate with my time off before work to live stream another webisode of the eleventh hour series. unfortunately the sound quality is rather rough in this one due to yours truly still being in the experimental phase but things will eventually smooth over the more i am able to do this on occasion. if there are any potential patrons just know that you can now show support by donating to myself by pressing the button at the bottom of the Linkz page or simply clicking here. every little bit helps and if enough revenue is generated then i will definitely be able to justify doing this full time with rapidly increased quality due to granted resources thus enabling time towards these projects. anyway i feel like i am starting to sound like a beggar of some sort so i will then now away.

as of lately

•July 20, 2017 • Leave a Comment

so we all know that we are well into the summer solstice and have recently bypassed the thunder moon yet again. what a blessing to be alive. i suppose we’ve made it thus far.

as for the present my supposed card of the day today according to the daily draw is:

at first i could not see what this was about and was rather annoyed admittedly. i kid you not this was my die-roll just a couple of days ago as well. what was unnerving is that i am currently attempting yet again to earn federal reserve notes at the expense of my desired lifestyle with my children. that in mind understand that i am also trying to maintain a more positive attitude and disposition. in all actuality i just had a cup of some of my dream leaf tea and now that i’m relaxed i can truly feel the disappointment i have with my existence. not just within myself. but with the perception i have of the others whom i supposedly share this this dream with. i feel we could all be doing better. but at the same time i wish we could more so be truly free of any sort of disconstrued-presupposed-assigned assumely maybe kind of responsibility. in spite of myself maybe i may as well participate at a higher intensity despite all contradictions of all the other. i speak garble understandedly but at least i do so with protest against the so-called conventionals & conventions. what a cantrip this imaginely seems to be!

 

 

alternative last line: what a hogwash of fucking ill-mannered outer discipline! Next scene already pls.

solstice of the summer 2017

•June 22, 2017 • Leave a Comment

 

haven’t posted in a while. admittedly i have been battling my manic depression with no 3rd party medication whatsoever. straight cold chicken. its been rough and frustrating. my spouse denies my suffering to my face when i am the one enduring it. it is endlessly disheartening as it is disgraceful to my being.

other than that i am looking forward to new things that i will probably elaborate about later on as they come to fruition. in the meantime i have decided to quit streaming timewalking runs and diablo 2\3. catch me on steam as LifeGodChaos playing aok hd or path of exile in the meantime.

taking a break from musick as well. a brief encounter with a mirror stranger the other day solidified that as i did not care too much for what was being sold to me. tried to overlook it and remain enthused but it must have cost me face and artistic accountability. shame on me for simply wanting to play for the sake of collaborating with others. a loner i remain it seems.

ciao.

 

the last of the idez of 2017

•March 31, 2017 • Leave a Comment

caught me a clean mood and feel like giving back to the universe today. recorded & uploaded this workshop earlier in attempt to deliver wisdom to the lesser knowing. don’t mind being a teacher as it feels good supporting the future. anyway its raid night so i’m gonna feck off to that. peace dudez

reflectionz of a barren mind

•March 29, 2017 • Leave a Comment

daily affirmation: its always a pleasure receiving no acknowledgement. then you don’t have to do some silly little\\big jig for the audience.

leave it be as it may however. time flows with no sign in sight of anything desired or unexpected. how can this be called a life when it feels so bleak and harrowed. perhaps thats just my state of mind in the current now. its very frustrating being your own foil at times. especially when its most convenient.

got inspired by the mediocre serving of lyrics in the iggy azalea song “bounce”. the music video was visually pleasing at moments but other than that it was an obvious spin off of fuckoffery within the lack. it inspired me to pick up my instrument today however. can’t get it to sound right though. needs more boom subz really. can only make so much kill tone out of a 12″. must be that lack lingering and meandering through the nether that is perceived reality. though its not even really there i can’t understand why i must continue to sit through such insignificance. this is not the life i thought it to be. the day is mine yet the musick is non-fruitful and lifeless.

more jibber jabber harum scarum to come i guess.