6_8_18_

•June 8, 2018 • Leave a Comment

the greatest date this year as of late what 2_18_2018_. just stating the obvious at this point.

currently seriously considering starting a new life. the one i am living now delivers nothing short of an abundance of turbulence, discordance, and strife. i am literally in a personal hell for many years now. i’d love to deliver every soul and cleanse the grand mess but it continues to resurface. like mold in an old, worn shack. better to dump the problem on someone else or tear down the whole structure and start over from the cursed land up. i could do the latter but at what cost? a reoccurring curse as well as more of [my youth and invaluable time & energy] being sapped? i’m sure we’ve all seen\\read poltergeist.

no i am not completely blame free. there was a way out and i had the key.

for the sake of salvation i decided to stay and perform healing rituals as best i could through my voice and actions. i simply may be too bitter to want to perform at my highest level of energy at this given moment. its so clear to me right now that i may never get over this constant depression//self-doubt//anxiety as long as i stay. all variables suggest that it may be best if i push myself away and abandon all i’ve endured for nearly a decade. its simply not the easiest thing to let go of. i may be a slave to circumstance after all—especially whilst having spawn!

i’m going to have to meditate on this more until a solution presents itself in my mind. i really do not want to be rash or impulsive. but i do not want to be stuck in hell either! what would be a pleasant surprise as well as a relief would be to see the solution physically metamorph & present itself, but i don’t want to mislead myself on more false hopes & desire either. things are usually not how they might seem at times in my experience. except for whenever the spade is in fact a spade however!

beware: if you’ve taken any delight whatsoever in my misfortune it will likely present itself in some form in your own existence. not saying thats not allowed or anything but it is pretty damning to orgasm off the suffering of others instead of ones own achievements and pleasure. i guess some kids need to hear that. i know. i was one of them.

later.

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eostre 218

•April 2, 2018 • Leave a Comment

 

i quite enjoyed this unholy day with my spawn and spouse. here’s to many more.

joyous days that is.

pi day 2018

•March 14, 2018 • Leave a Comment

not my idea of a good production but in order to keep it authentic i will have it on display here and only here. currently unlisted everywhere else.

i feel as if i should vent about the lack of resources and collaborative effortz that i have always endured but i think this display displays it all. my attempt at granting a nod to pi day in the chaos year of 2018. chaos infuckingdeed!

i would redo the gesture if i had more time but my time is relentlessly invaluable and i must press on towards incoming matters. i hate everything so much right now.

if there’s a drummer out there up for improvisational greatness please step forward before infinity consumez us both! carry on slavez.

3_2_18_

•March 2, 2018 • Leave a Comment

break from source

wishful think

•February 12, 2018 • Leave a Comment

doomfest_2018

definitely up my alley. wish i could go dudez.

1_30_18_

•January 30, 2018 • Leave a Comment

Why I don’t consider myself much of a lyricist:

Go ahead

Push my eyez in

I no longer long to see this place

Ever again

my thoughtz on musick in general

•January 8, 2018 • Leave a Comment

happy new year dudez. just needed to vent on my view of conventional musick:

in all honest actuality 98.98% of the musick available for streaming, download, and especially the radio all have a sour pitch to me. that should be a given but i feel the need to dig a little further into this popular realization many have but know no reason why for.

to start off i will say a big prospect of the bitterness is the lyrical content. much of it tends to be very basic, elementary sentence fragments that have become way redundant over the past few decades. if it isn’t that then its most likely a line of uber fucking moldy ass cheese.

*SECRET, SECRET, WE HAVE A SECRET*

to get even deeper within the lyrical [or lack of] turn off may be due to the language itself. the english language is extremely mediocre and stale. with hard consonants and repetitive sentence structure you may actually be forced into writing these sentence fragments for the sake of avoding redundant prepositional phrases and other typical grammatical cliches we say in our day to day basic speak. however, thats usually the more creative side in my personal experience but more so likely the more ignorant side of lyrical content for normies such as yourselves. the most popular way to deter this constant redundancy is to make each verse follow some sort poetic formula where the last words of the line\\stanza rhymes with an adjacent sentence or maybe even skips a line or x variable to where every other line rhymes. because of this most “rock” songs are essentially glorified terrible rap scats with a conventional background rock band sound dynamic.

i guess to keep this brief and concise as possible i will summarize with more of my prejudice against the english language as well as the others. it is so fucking boring but that is not all. other languages may have the edge on being a little more musical such as some of the mongolian linguistic sounds conveying different connotations as well as intent and current state of emotion. maybe it sounds good in the moment because it is a language from a different region of the heavenly rock so it is unfamiliar thus seemingly pleasing. chances are they are saying basic things that have a pretty ring to it. if it is worth a fuck at then it would obviously fall into the aforementioned 1.02% of actual good musick.

either way i will take an even more extreme approach to say that i feel words in general, no matter the language, are a bastardization of musick. sure they are sounds, have a pitch, and communicate different things but linguistics is mostly made up of mouth breather produced barks essentially. like how dogs communicate with their surroundings we are very little any different. sure it may mean different things to us but that is because we understand our own moanz, groanz, and tonez. its just fucking noise really. and not even pleasant noise. what i’m really trying to say is that i hate the human race for making so much shit noise basically.

i remember i used to loathe listening to classical music because it was mostly instrumental. for the record i’ve always hated opera. it too is a tastleless, bastardization of musick but comes with even more pompous pretense. anyway, the reason for my disapproval back when was because there were no words ironically. at the time i thought that made the composition boring. now as time has passed naturally i have realized that mouthless songs are the most true songs. this does not include wind instruments by the way. not all of them anyway. fuck that human voice box however.

this doesn’t even exclude bands i have liked past & present. a lot of the time i’m digging the riffz\\percussion while trying to enjoy it but i can’t think of anything else except how shit the vocals\\lyrics are!

but seriously. next time you listen to the radio or your lolplaylist, try to really listen to whats being communicated. you will realize that a lot of it is pre-written propaganda from ghost-writers who are working for corporate conglomerates of the man. if they are not even that intelligent then chances are they are ignorant by-products of self-produced, inbred mouth breathers.

to sum it up, lyrics fucking suck. period.

 

figure 1: forgivable human voice box application

figure 2: unforgivable human voice box application