eve of a friday the 13th

•October 12, 2017 • Leave a Comment


card pretty much says it all.

happy date of birth to me.


the sun shinez upon me

•October 11, 2017 • Leave a Comment

though i have found much opposition and conflict of interest here lately i feel quite vitalized. i suppose that is why the lower everything is drawn to my recent immaculate vibratory explosion. the harvest moon looked gorgeous the other night. a sight i will not soon forget. such a vision gives me hope and cool warmth. i know now that the only thing in my way is myself. everything is a choice. choose an undesirable situation and you will undoubtedly suffer for it. i do believe i am very ready to experience the contrary. if it is present to call upon then consider this text the summon.

peace be with us.

thoughtz on revelation 12

•September 29, 2017 • Leave a Comment


it appears as if september 23, 2017 marked some sort of date of significance. rumour even has it that the event had already occurred in 1999 and 2005. a topic of interest begging further exploration in its own right. most surely i would have written about it on the eve or day of but i was feeling quite ill of the grotesque disembowelment of filth that i was facing in my personal life. unfortunately it was more of the same kind of torture & displeasure that i have dealt with since my early childhood. step parents are an abomination to children i feel. i would probably never volunteer to fill such a role based on my own experiences alone. whether that makes me a generalizing arseling or not to others matters to me not. it all boils down to favouritism, prioritization, as well as resource & energy reserves. it is beyond fact that i would always come after my step-fathers seed. i do recall many of my playthings & rags being confiscated and redistributed to my half-siblings. out of principle i would normally not address them as such but i realize now that it is willingly being naive to pretend otherwise.


nuances of a modest rejection

•September 18, 2017 • Leave a Comment

its come to my personal attention that i may have neglected the mission at hand for myself. to have let myself be distracted by so-called current events, moon cycles, and diluted imaginary scenarios. i am not the ideal candidate to try and decipher these seemingly truthful phenomena outside of such go-to topics of discussion. i like to think that maybe i do something a little different that may stand alone when compared to other sources of any form of human mind product, or as you know it, entertainment.

the card i drew today was the seven of pentacles. apparently this is a time for meticulously dissecting my own actions as well as the feedback received from the outer as a symbiosis of that symbiotic relationship. and my daughter just woke up because whatever reason. perhaps i am simply broadcasting too low of a negative frequency. either way maybe i have revealed too much vulnerable information at this point. even if that is the case i humbly admit to no other intention than possibly teaching others through my personal thoughts, writing, and experience. damn the insecurities.

i must confess however.

not long ago i decided to express my love in the act of optimistic execution at a means of possible reproduction. however the receiver of my spontaneous effort decided to flush any possibility of that attempted actualization without my council or knowing until it had already past. i never thought such a responsible act of prevention could wound so hurtful. until it happened i suppose it may have seemed like nothing drastic to me. if anything it would have normally been perceived as a burden uplifted. however this was something i wouldn’t have minded in those few hours of reformed romantic passion. just as quickly as the fire roared it seemingly backdrafted and suffocated on its own fumes. after that realization of what lack of importance my legacy meant to this other i became the bi-product of inner despair, disappointment, and miserable unhappiness yet again.

enter the barley moon 2017

•September 5, 2017 • Leave a Comment

according to the almanac manual the full moon will be tomorrow mourning at 3:04am. trying to rise sooner in the day so i will probably sleep this one out.

card of the day today is la morte. hopefully something positive comes from all this negativity thats been harping me as of late indeed.

hurricane harvey was a god forsaken gust from the gulf of guzzling shit goo if i should say so myself. the auto’s caught a little water in the interior. nothing too drastic. the wreck could have been avoided though. fuckit. hopefully things will pick up sometime here shortly.

here’s to the next moon cycle and getting away from the cursed mercurial retrograde!

aftermath of current events

•August 11, 2017 • Leave a Comment

not too pleased with my human peers at this grave given moment. i hope to forgive all else as well as myselves in days to come. i understand completely that no one is molded to perfection from the start. its a bit of disgust to imagine the incompatibility of some of it all. what a wretched feeling it is to me to even somewhat possibly resemble the like. all i can do now is not brood on this specific negativity and continue to pursue higher vibrations.

the fruit moon wanez

•August 9, 2017 • Leave a Comment

been having a hard time lately. a couple of days ago i got off work early and decided to pick up my girls. turned out my car lost its brakes on the way and i was just along for the ride. rear-ended this red ford truck and knocked its plastic bumper right off. second time this has happened in my classic. at least now i see that it was the drums partially but more so the master cylinder. its completely out. nearly could have died or killed someone else. decided to go ahead and retire the classic and sell it to my aspiring younger brother. he feels he can salvage it so best of luck to him.

needless to say with my transportation out of service i no longer had a way to work. ended up throwing the keys thus dropping the ball. i wonder why my luck is so strange sometimes. especially during full moons. things seem to get a bit more peculiar.

no worries however. this recent job was just a means to pass the time until my next. my aptitude test is next month. i have no worry in the matter. they even gave me a study packet. how quaint.

the reason for the melancholic song is that my anti-queen had yet again turned on me due to my misfortune. i really don’t understand why the first thing she does when i’m down is puncture stabs into my side. maybe i deserve it at this point. we’ll see.